The Last American Virgin

     Teen sex comedies were a dime-a-dozen in the early 80's. However, there's one of a few teen sex comedies that stand out from the usual dreck, and THE LAST AMERICAN VIRGIN is most definitely one of them.  The early part of the decade was saturated with slashers and teen sex comedies, and I caught TLAV late one night on HBO, and being a pubescent teen boy, found myself laughing at the silly hijinks and secretly enjoying the surprising amount of nudity, both male and female.

     THE LAST AMERICAN VIRGIN deals with 3 friends- Gary, Rick, and David. Gary, it seems, is still a virgin, and is winningly played by Lawrence Monoson. Steve Antin plays lothario Rick who will do anything with a pulse, and Joe Rubbo takes on the role of portly David. Gary is desperately trying to lose his virginity, and at the same time finds himself falling in love with new girl Karen, played by awesome 80's icon Diane Franklin. (Quirky Kimmy Robertson, Lucy from "Twin Peaks", plays Karen's bf, Rose...) The first hour or so is your typical high school sex comedy of the 1980's, with the three boys on a mission to have as much sex as possible. We get a locker-room penis measuring contest, a sultry Latina cougar who takes on all three boys, and the obligatory parents coming home early and catching teens having sex scene. But then something happens about halfway through.

     An event occurs  that comes completely out of left field and changes the entire tone of the film. I'm not going to tell you what it is, but I will tell you that THE LAST AMERICAN VIRGIN starts out as a silly, juvenile sex comedy that halfway through suddenly and without warning pulls the tablecloth off the table and becomes a seriously special movie. It's to me one of the best 80's teen comedies, because like FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH, it expertly mixes comedy and drama.

       TLAV borders on downright sleazy at times. And there is lots of nudity. But the winning performances (Lawrence and Diane come to mind- they are fantastic...) and the way some very important subjects are brought up and treated with intelligence and realism elevate the film to a higher plateau. It's also rather infamous for its shocking and completely unexpected ending. If you've seen it before, then trust me, you know what I'm talking about. It's a whopper, that's for sure.

     And it's all set to one kick-ass soundtrack. Classics such as "De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da" by the Police, "Are You Ready For the Sex Girls" by the Gleaming Spires, "Love Action (I Believe In Love" by the Human League, "I Know What Boys Like" by the Waitresses, "In the Flesh" by Blondie, "Shake It Up" and "Since You're Gone" by the Cars, "Open Arms" by Journey, "Whit It" by Devo, "I Will Follow" by U2, and "Keep on Loving You" by REO Speedwagon all help propel the story of Gary and Karen into the annals of 80's pop culture. It's worth viewing for the songs alone!

     Sadly, this movie disappeared in theaters back in 1982.  It somehow got lost in the shuffle of such hits as PORKY'S, RISKY BUSINESS, VALLEY GIRL, and FAST TIMES. It's rather underrated today, but it's developed a strong cult following over the years, and with the recent debut on DVD, is slowly but surely finding a new audience.  As it should.  Because it's a well-written and smart teenage sex comedy. And you might get chills whenever you hear "Keep on Loving You" after watching this movie.  A true 80's classic!

   

Just One of the Guys

     JUST ONE OF THE GUYS is classic 80's teen b-movie, kids. This is one funny little flick, as silly as it is. Basically TOOTSIE reversed, it tells the story of Terri Griffith, winningly played by Joyce Hyser. Terri has it all- she's gorgeous, popular, and has the #1 hunk of high school as her guy (Leigh McCloskey).

     Terri wants desperately to be a journalist, and submits an article for a summer intern at the local newspaper.  Much to her dismay though- her article isn't picked.  Convinced sexism is at play here, Terri decides to risk it all and transfer to another school as a guy to prove if she could get her previously unpublished article published as a male.

     Somehow, she's able to just slip into another nearby school while her parents are out of town and live as a boy. Of course with that comes all sorts of problems. The high school gym, for one. On top of all that, Terry finds herself falling for quiet Rick, played by Clayton Rohner), who has a crush on Deborah, played by Deborah Goodrich, who's dating school bully Greg, played by William Zabka! Seem complicated? It is. Throw in Toni Hudson as Terri's best friend, Billy Jayne as Terri's horny little brother, and Sherilyn Fenn as a girl in love with Terence, the male version of Terri and you get one zany 80's sex comedy! Gimmicky to be sure, but it works, and has some truly funny moments sprinkled throughout.

     JUST ONE OF THE GUYS could have just relied on raunchy innuendos and sex jokes. But it also offers up a cute love story, some character developments, and a great soundtrack. Not to mention that slew of familiar 80's faces!  i mean, you've got Clayton Rohner and Deborah Goodrich  (APRIL FOOL'S DAY), Sherilyn Fenn  (TWIN PEAKS), Stu Charno (CHRISTINE, FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2), William Zabka ( BACK TO SCHOOL, THE KARATE KID), Billy Jayne (CUJO), and Toni Hudson (CRIMES OF THE HEART) all help Joyce Hyser make this little movie rise above your typical 80's sex romps.

     Now JUST ONE OF THE GUYS is not a perfect comedy. Far from it. But it is a whole helluva lot of fun to watch, and comes across as somewhat witty and inspired. With its cross-dressing theme and the time in which it was released, you would expect some cringe-inducing homophobia portrayed. Surprisingly, it's not. Terri is falling in love with Rick, as a boy though. Obviously, Rick will find out Terri's true identity at some point, and he handles it winningly and refreshingly when he finds out his new "buddy" (Terri) has a crush on him. And even more surprising is that this 80's teen sex comedy has much more male nudity than female. In fact, we only get a brief glimpse of Terri's breasts at the end. We see much more male skin. Once again. Refreshing. JUST ONE OF THE GUYS is a charming little b-movie from the mid-80's that's a hoot and a half to watch.

STAR WARS: Episode V- The Empire Strikes Back

       Many cite "The Empire Strikes Back" as the greatest "Star Wars" movie ever made.  And it's easy to see why so many say that.  It's perfect in every way- and it's got much more character development than the original and jettisons its optimism- going for a much darker film with much more conflict.  This was the movie to see- it had been three long years after the original "Star Wars" had blown our little minds.

     "Star Wars", and "The Empire Strikes Back" in general, was a defining moment in many a child's lives- mine included.  I was absolutely, completely, 100% blown away by every single frame of these movies.  It's hard to actually pick a favorite of the "Star Wars" films- there are certain aspects of all of them that I love.  And of course, the original simply because it came first.  But I would have to say at the end of the day, I think I enjoy "The Empire Strikes Back" the best of them all.  It's a truly wondrous film- it really is quite spellbinding.  It's often praised as the best of the "Star Wars" films, and also as one of the greatest science fiction films of all time as well.  It's a remarkable example of screen entertainment.  A true space opera that equally holds its own and even manages to slightly improve on the original, as amazing as that is.

     George Lucas wisely gave up the direction to Irvin Kirshner, and the result is pure magic.  It's everything classic sci-fi should be- hugely intense and sweeping battle scenes, perfect acting, music, and direction, wonderful and memorable new characters, and some truly amazing light saber sequences.  It's the dark middle chapter of a classic trilogy of science fiction.  It's the "Godfather Part 2" of sci-fi.  And it's awesome.

Friday the 13th

    

      John Carpenter's low budget shocker "Halloween" scared the pants off millions of people and spawned a genre in 1978- the slasher film.  "Halloween" was so fresh and different and influential that tons of copycat imitations soon followed.  "Friday the 13th", another low-budget shocker, hit movie screens that summer of 1980 and became a box office smash.  Basically taking the same principle of "Halloween", "Friday the 13th" added some very shocking and creative murder sequences, Kevin Bacon, a camp in the woods, and a shock ending.  And became a pop culture phenomenon in the process.

       The plot is simple really.  A group of carefree counselors are all trying to get Camp Crystal Lake opened for the summer, headed by one Steve Christy.  Camp Crystal Lake has had a rather unsavory past- a young boy drowned there back in the 50's, two young counselors were murdered, and problems with fires and bad water all have given the camp a "cursed" reputation by locals.  But Christy is determined that it's all hogwash, and sees a golden opportunity in re-opening the camp. All is fun and games at first, but soon we find out an unseen presence is with them in the woods- watching, stalking, and murdering them one by one.

        "Friday the 13th" is a bona fide horror classic today. It's LOADED with great atmosphere- the whole backwoods mystique it's got going on really works for the movie.  Director Sean S. Cunningham truly makes us feel as if we the viewers are being stalked in the woods with the other counselors.  Everything about "Friday the 13th" works- the infamous music by Harry Manfredini, the sometimes crude photography and lighting, and Tom Savini's wonderfully graphic and shocking special effects.  This film, along with Carpenter's "Halloween", scared the pants off millions of teenagers back in the late 70s and early 80s.  But not only that, but they connected with the movie-going public. We were seeing us up there- your average, all-American teenagers, in Haddonfield, Illinois or in Camp Crystal Lake.  This was a defining moment in horror- and very few recent horror flicks have been able to capture that certain something that "Friday the 13th" so obviously did.  Audiences simply responded to this film.

     It's hard to imagine today- but when this first installment hit movie screens back in the summer of 1980, it truly was extremely scary stuff.  The countless sequels have sapped a lot of the effectiveness of the original installment, much like John Carpenter's "Halloween".  But if you can just forget the million sequels, the franchise- and watch the original for what it was, it's a pretty effective shocker and it's easy to see why it became such a phenomenon.  For better or worse, "Friday the 13th" is a part of Americana.  We can all relate to this movie- we all know how the woods can be scary.  We've all huddled around a campfire at night, breathlessly scaring each other silly with ghost stories.  We've all been to summer camp before.  "Friday the 13th" is a perfect time capsule of the early 80's.

POLTERGEIST

       I was ten years old when I first experienced "Poltergeist".  I went to a friend's house to watch it because it had just hit HBO- this would have been... oh 1983.  I had been told that I must see this movie immediately.  I was dying to see it anyway.  Needless to say, I was completely blown away by what I was seeing on the screen in front of me.  "Poltergeist", directed by Tobe Hooper (although let's be fair here- this movie has Steven Spielberg's stamp all over it...), literally scared the hell out of me, but it was so much fun- a non-stop roller-coaster ride that never lets up for one second. It's completely entertaining on all levels.  Besides being a top-notch thrill ride, it has the added bonus of some great writing and even greater acting.

Craig T. Nelson, JoBeth Williams, and the kids are sensational in their roles- they're 100% believable and even though the film boasts some astonishing special effects, the acting is what makes "Poltergeist" work. On top of the great family, we're treated to the wonderful Beatrice Straight and Zelda Rubinstein.  This was every family I knew in the 80's.  I lived this.  I completely identified with every single frame of that movie.  I was Robbie- terrified of the shadow on my closet door by the tree outside my window at night.  I also had a super scary clown, I just chose not to keep it.  "Poltergeist" was the second, big haunted house movie I had seen- the first being "The Amityville Horror".  As much as I enjoyed "Amityville", "Poltergeist" seemed real to me at the time.  It really made you think that it could happen to anybody, at anytime.

       "Poltergeist" is hands down one of the greatest haunted house movies ever made.  Besides having the talents of  Tobe Hooper and Spielberg involved, we get the delicious and chilling score by Jerry Goldsmith and one of the most well-known and parodied lines from any movie... "They're heeere.....".  "Poltergeist" is Steven Spielberg's vision of a haunted house/ghost story, and a great one at that.  For some reason taking the haunted house out of the gloomy, cobwebbed mansion and bringing it into contemporary suburbia only made it all the more scary.  It became the standard for haunted house movies to come. The film is making a comeback of sorts, it seems.  I see it talked about more and more on horror blogs in the past couple of years, and next year (2012) will be the films 30th anniversary.
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     "Poltergeist" was one of the biggest and most influential movies of my youth, and it's impossible not to think of this movie when you talk of the 1980's.  I know I had never seen anything like this before.  It quite literally blew my mind.  Sadly I did not get to witness this on the big screen, so I can only imagine the effect this had in that environment.  Just watching it on a dark, rainy afternoon on a reasonably large tv as I did was extremely powerful.  It was like "E.T." sort of... only scary.  And as unbelievable as it all is- Craig T. Nelson, JoBeth Williams, Oliver Robins, Dominique Dunne, and Heather O'Rourke firmly make you believe every second of it. This movie, like so many from the 80's, never fails to entertain me.  It's just such a huge part of my childhood.  Luckily, I've never outgrown it, because it's still a hell of good movie.  Maybe slightly dated because of the whole channels signing off at midnight thing, but overall it's still as sharp and witty as always, with the banter between Nelson and Williams priceless.

 "Poltergeist" was so successful and popular it would start not only a franchise, but an undying urban legend about the so-called "Poltergeist" curse that is slowly and methodically killing off all involved with the films.  The film would garner 3 Academy Awards, and ranked # 80 on Bravo's 100 Scariest Movie Moments and #69 on AFI's 100 Years... 100 Movie Quotes for "They're Heeere...".  "Poltergeist" would gross over $78 million dollars and become the highest-grossing horror film of 1982.  It has become a bona fide horror classic, and well deserved at that.  This was some serious nightmares for many kids my age, and I know of a few who are deathly afraid of clowns because of it.  But overall, it's still such a fun movie to watch.  I love this movie.  Dearly.