The Last American Virgin

     Teen sex comedies were a dime-a-dozen in the early 80's. However, there's one of a few teen sex comedies that stand out from the usual dreck, and THE LAST AMERICAN VIRGIN is most definitely one of them.  The early part of the decade was saturated with slashers and teen sex comedies, and I caught TLAV late one night on HBO, and being a pubescent teen boy, found myself laughing at the silly hijinks and secretly enjoying the surprising amount of nudity, both male and female.

     THE LAST AMERICAN VIRGIN deals with 3 friends- Gary, Rick, and David. Gary, it seems, is still a virgin, and is winningly played by Lawrence Monoson. Steve Antin plays lothario Rick who will do anything with a pulse, and Joe Rubbo takes on the role of portly David. Gary is desperately trying to lose his virginity, and at the same time finds himself falling in love with new girl Karen, played by awesome 80's icon Diane Franklin. (Quirky Kimmy Robertson, Lucy from "Twin Peaks", plays Karen's bf, Rose...) The first hour or so is your typical high school sex comedy of the 1980's, with the three boys on a mission to have as much sex as possible. We get a locker-room penis measuring contest, a sultry Latina cougar who takes on all three boys, and the obligatory parents coming home early and catching teens having sex scene. But then something happens about halfway through.

     An event occurs  that comes completely out of left field and changes the entire tone of the film. I'm not going to tell you what it is, but I will tell you that THE LAST AMERICAN VIRGIN starts out as a silly, juvenile sex comedy that halfway through suddenly and without warning pulls the tablecloth off the table and becomes a seriously special movie. It's to me one of the best 80's teen comedies, because like FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH, it expertly mixes comedy and drama.

       TLAV borders on downright sleazy at times. And there is lots of nudity. But the winning performances (Lawrence and Diane come to mind- they are fantastic...) and the way some very important subjects are brought up and treated with intelligence and realism elevate the film to a higher plateau. It's also rather infamous for its shocking and completely unexpected ending. If you've seen it before, then trust me, you know what I'm talking about. It's a whopper, that's for sure.

     And it's all set to one kick-ass soundtrack. Classics such as "De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da" by the Police, "Are You Ready For the Sex Girls" by the Gleaming Spires, "Love Action (I Believe In Love" by the Human League, "I Know What Boys Like" by the Waitresses, "In the Flesh" by Blondie, "Shake It Up" and "Since You're Gone" by the Cars, "Open Arms" by Journey, "Whit It" by Devo, "I Will Follow" by U2, and "Keep on Loving You" by REO Speedwagon all help propel the story of Gary and Karen into the annals of 80's pop culture. It's worth viewing for the songs alone!

     Sadly, this movie disappeared in theaters back in 1982.  It somehow got lost in the shuffle of such hits as PORKY'S, RISKY BUSINESS, VALLEY GIRL, and FAST TIMES. It's rather underrated today, but it's developed a strong cult following over the years, and with the recent debut on DVD, is slowly but surely finding a new audience.  As it should.  Because it's a well-written and smart teenage sex comedy. And you might get chills whenever you hear "Keep on Loving You" after watching this movie.  A true 80's classic!

   

Do You Really Want to Hurt Me by Culture Club

     The breakout hit for British New Wave group Culture Club, "Do You Really Want To Hurt Me" hit the radio waves September 1 of 1982.  From the smash album Kissing To Be Clever, this was the group's first hit in the US and due to the song's popularity, reached #2 on the US Billboard charts.  Only Michael Jackson's " Billie Jean" prevented it from hitting #1.

     The song found fame partly due to Culture Club's last-minute appearance on Top Of The Pops, which showcased lead singer Boy George's androgynous persona.  It garnered headlines, and before you know it, everybody in the US was crooning the words to the song- even my parents.  It would be the first of many hits for the band throughout the decade.

 

1999 by Prince

     Fall of 1982 saw the release of not only a career defining single for Prince, but a career defining album as well.  1999 made Prince a star, and it's a delicious slice of funk/pop/electro/r&b that's just too funky for its own good.  The title track, "1999", was released in September of '82, followed by the album in October.  "1999" is to this day one of Prince's best known songs, and like many of his hits, timeless. Although 1999 offers up far more gems than just the title track.  "D.M.S.R", "Delirious", "Let's Pretend We're Married", and the smash hit "Little Red Corvette" are insanely awesome tracks.  Setting the stage for the grand Purple Rain album on the way,  Prince wowed the MTV generation with this masterpiece- playing most of the instruments himself on many of the tracks.  1999 is one of the most important Prince albums of all time.  It's audacious.  It's funky.  It covers many genres effortlessly.  It's surprisingly minimalist and needed no gimmicks- the music speaks for itself.  Ranked #215 on Rolling Stone's 500 Greatest Songs of all Time, it's been packing dance floors for decades now and shows no signs of losing its utter coolness.  This is hands down one of the greatest albums to come out of the 1980's, and along with Madonna's first album, truly took   disco (which was dying)  and merged with the British synth pop to create a whole new sound in dance music.    1999 is one hot mess of funk, dance, synthesizers, and stunning commentary on society all rolled up into one big delicious package.  It's epic, it's timeless, and it's grand.  It's Prince we're talking about here.  C'mon.

 

I Know There's Something Going On by Frida

     As of February of 1982, super-group ABBA was officially on break.  Frida wanted to branch out a bit on her own, and recorded "I Know There's Something Going On" for a solo project.  Attempting to shy away from ABBA's extremely successful but extremely pop sound, Frida instead went for a more rough and 80s approach.  She collaborated with Genesis frontman Phil Collins, who produced and played drums on the track.

     Released in the fall of 1982, the song became an instant smash hit.  Eventually selling over 3.5 million copies, it hit #1 around the world and reached #13 on the US charts.  The very chic and stylish video quickly became a staple on the new and hot MTV music video channel. This song hasn't lost one ounce of its cool factor.

We Got the Beat by the Go-Go's.

   
     Released in January of 1982, "We Got The Beat" by the Go-Go's would become the band's biggest hit to date, spending three weeks at #2 on the US Billboard charts.  The song is immortal- not only was it used in the opening credit sequence of the 80s classic "Fast Times At Ridgemont High", but it was also named one of The Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame's 500 Songs That Shaped Rock And Roll.  The video received very heavy rotation on MTV and quickly became a staple on the video channel.  With its simple yet instantly recognizable intro, the song still never fails to get people moving and is classic Go-Go's.

Risky Business

   There are tons of movies I absolutely love from the 80s, but there are only a handful that could be considered truly iconic.  "Risky Business" is such a film.  This is a fantastic time machine for anybody over the age of 30.  "Risky Business" just might be the smartest and best acted of all the 80s sex comedies. The film is raunchy, and raunchy 80s sex comedies were a dime a dozen for sure- but this one is much more than that. I'm not a fan of Tom Cruise whatsoever, but he is truly sensational in this performance.  This was his breakout role, and Cruise is what sells the film.  He plays Joel, a high school guy whose main concern is to get accepted to Princeton.  He's tired of always doing the right thing and being Mr. All American, so when the parents go away for a week, he ends up calling a prostitute. His life immediately spirals memorably out of control as he crosses paths with Lana, a call girl memorably played by Rebecca DeMornay. 

     "Risky Business" opens with a fantastically hypnotic synth score by Tangerine Dream that immediately sets a mood.   That almost haunting synth score and those dreamlike shots of Chicago and its burbs are truly sensational.  The film benefits from great visual style- the roaming POV shots add greatly to the overall effect.  This is a rather strange film.  It's usually thought of as an 80s sex comedy, and it does have some funny moments, for sure.  But the film could almost be seen as somewhat depressing- it's an almost dark take on "the American Dream", but at times it's hard to tell whether the film is parodying it or celebrating it.  Still, it brought true intelligence and sophistication to the genre, on top of making Tom Cruise a bona fide movie star.  

Is the film believable?  No.  In fact the entire film is dream like, as if it's a young males fantasy gone completely out of control.  The infamous underwear scene to Bob Seger's "Old Time Rock and Roll" is forever part of pop culture and has spawned thousands of parodies and references.  And "Risky Business" has a rockin' soundtrack, featuring such classics as "In The Air Tonight" by Phil Collins, "D.M.S.R." by Prince, and "Hungry Heart" by Bruce Springsteen.  I recently watched it and honestly had a blast with it.  It's just a really good movie. 

Words by Missing Persons

 

       Awesome song.  Simple as that.

1982 in Movies